A Love Letter to a Woman Over 40

Dearest,

I need you to hear me when I say: You have not let yourself go.

You are a mirror and a light, reflecting and shining on those around you, so that THEY can be vibrant and awash in the glow that has - horrifyingly at times - left your cheeks.

The strength, courage and determination that once got you to the gym, gave you hours to perfect your eyeliner and led you to take risks around the country, the world or in your own life... is now channeled into the family, career and life you have built with your two hands, your infinite heart and a body that is shifting without your permission.

The cultural line is: you've quit. you've let yourself go. you're fading.

The truth is: you've crossed finish lines in countless races you might not have even known you were running, and you deserve to throw your hands above your head and scream in primal triumph.

Midlife is not a dimming or disappearance.

It is the emergence of the deepest, most powerful parts of yourself through the cracks that are appearing around your eyes. So stop digging - exhausted or afraid - for the last vestiges of determination to push your body, rekindle 30-year-old fire, and "reestablish your value" by getting smaller or harder.

You are more than enough.

Abundant in experience, awareness, deep strength and love.

Maybe your kids or company are a little older and more self-sufficient. Perhaps your relationships have settled and rooted. Perhaps now that you have space between your wants and others' needs, there is a kindling fire for something new and bigger that has been under the surface the whole time.

Perhaps now, rather than drive and strive and push and work, you deeply steward a new kind of determination that stems from a Self you are finally getting to meet.

So I beg you: Lay down the creeping resentment toward your loosening skin.

Lay down your fear of becoming invisible.

Lay your anxiety on the altar (be it from circumstances or hormone-induced sleep deprivation).

And let's take a walk.

Let's lift heavy things, so that we can practice setting them down. (Because you lift heavy things every day.) And let's drink some water, rub progesterone on our skin and remember to eat breakfast together.

Beloved, Friend.

You don't need to "get your body back" or look backward. You can simply come HOME. And let your strength - your magic - manifest.